“You’re not going to be able to do this.” The little lie said in my head as I drove to the meet up spot. “You are going to look so dumb.”
It 6:55 in the morning, I was running late and it was my first class. Trying to find the location where the trainer and other attendees were meeting was making my heart pound. I was going to be the newbie and heck - I was going to be the most unconditioned, least athletic, very late newbie the class had ever seen. As I saw the red flag marking the meet-up spot in the distance I thought to myself, “I could just skip and go to Starbucks instead.”
And I’m not going to lie - I almost did.
Instead, I found my body and mind were in two separate places. My body wanted to get as far as possible from the class and my mind was determined to prove to myself that yes, I could survive a workout class.
You read that right - a workout class. I was getting all freaked out over a workout class.
You see - I’m not what most would consider “fit”. I can barely run a mile and hate doing anything that requires a lot of upper body strength - mostly because I don’t have any and hate looking weak.
However, the time had come where I realized that I was an adult and through hell or high water I needed to start taking better care of my body. I was fed up with how I allowed the way I looked to dictate my activities (i/e finding reasons to miss out on pool parties, never wearing shorts even though it would be a 100 degrees outside, not wanting pictures taken on vacations because I didn’t like the way I looked.)
It was time to either meet my maker and die during this workout class or get through it - even if it meant being last place in every exercise we did.
After doing the multiple sets of stretches, planks, burpees and push ups, the trainer, who was peppier than a rabbit on speed, told us, “Great job guys! Great warm up!”
That was JUST the warm up?!? I thought to myself, very much out of breath and very much wishing I was instead at the aforementioned Starbucks, drinking a highly caffeinated beverage instead of getting my early morning wake up call via my legs that felt like they were on legit fire.
However - by the end of the class, I felt more energized than a cup of coffee had ever made me feel, and I was proud of myself. I was actually really proud of myself for waking up, going through with it, and even making a connection with a couple of the people there.
Later that day, my trainer even texted me asking how I was since I told her it was my first real workout in a while and I knew I was going to be pretty sore. I had never had a gym coach follow up with me post-workout. Honestly - I was taken aback, but felt cared for. So - I went back to the next class and the next and the next….
In between then, I even got to meet with my trainer and tell her about my “why”. The reasons behind why I wanted to start getting into a routine. I was able to tell her about my struggles with my body, my self-esteem, and my goals. Once during our conversation I got teary eyed as I was explaining how I felt like I had already failed because I was in this situation to begin with. My trainer, Alex, looked at me and said, “We’re just enhancing you! Just like you’re naturally beautiful but still want to put on makeup - that’s what we’re doing to your whole body! Every part of you is already amazing - we’re just highlighting all of the things that make you unique and strong!”
That statement wrecked me (in the best way possible of course). I had never thought that my body was good enough - my mindset with working out and losing weight was, “I want to completely get rid of who I was and create a new body, a new look, a new person.” But after speaking with Alex, I was able to look at my body and think, “I like my arms, and I want to show them off while I do a pull-up” (which by the way one of my goals is to be able to do a pull-up) just like I look at my eyes and think “I love my eyes, I think this soft pink shadow would REALLY compliment them.”
I’ve only been doing CG for a month now, but I can honestly say that if I already feel this confident and proud of myself after only 4 weeks - I’m seriously looking forward to how I’m going to feel after 52 weeks of classes.
What do you do that energizes you? Share with me so I can encourage you!